Copyright 2009 John Salerno
Watch Video of Google Grinch Googlebot Glitched Santa Away
Play .mp3 of Google Grinch Googlebot Glitched Santa Away
Twas a week before Christmas
When I felt with good cause
Children would search everywhere
For a FREE Santa Claus!
One without credit cards to enter
Nor a payments to mail
In this hardest of years
With budgets so frail
Children and Families like
Alice, Jeffrey and Brett
Were out searching exactly
For Santa-DOT-net
On Google’s first page
On Thursday last week
The Googlebot tuned
And adjusted and tweaked
And when he was finished
On that very same day
He managed to make
Santa-DOT-net vanish away.
It was Thursday morning
With Christmas one week away
That the Googlebot Grinch
Glitched Santa away.
With a flurry of misguided
Zeros and ones
Google’s algorithm stole away
So much free Christmas fun
And there in position seven
Where Santa-DOT-net USED to be
The Googlebot put DOCTOR Nick
Not SAINT Nick you see!
If it’s a cat down in Georgia
You want Santa to spay
Let theĀ Googlbot Grinch
And Google Maps show you the way!
But when people need doctors
For themselves… Or a pet…
Shouldn’t they should dial 9-1-1
For the help they should get?
But when kids do a search for “Santa”
It would seem a safe bet
They’re not looking for a doctor
Or an animal vet
Santa appreciates children
Who take care of their pets
And Santa likes doctors
And animal vets!
But when kids search for “Santa”
This time of the year…
They’re searching for Santa Claus
And they won’t find it — I fear.
Children and Families
Just like Mike and Jeanette
Are out searching in vain
For Santa-DOT-net
Created by Santa’s elves
For Children and FREE
Bringing Yuletide cheer
For all children to see
And Visit a reindeer
Or Color a tree
Till the Googlebot decided
It all wasn’t to be
There in position Seven
Where Santa-net USED to be
The Googlebot put DOCTOR Nick, the vet
Not SAINT Nick you see!
If it’s a cat down in Georgia
You want Santa to spay
Let the Googlbot Grinch
And Google Maps show the way!
If each person in the world
Who searched for Santa today
All drove to Georgia
On the very same day
With a cat in the back
Of the family car
Santa’s afraid non of them
Would get very far!
It would be like a bowl
Filled with water and paper
And a flush would bring gushes
From this ill-conceived caper!
This week we all want
To celebrate and sing
Thank goodness Santa.net
Is still there on Bing!
A true Santa website
That won’t sell all the junk
To parents and children
Had its Google rank sunk!
So if what you want to hear
Are sleigh bells that ring
The search engine for the season
Is not Google — It’s Bing.
Like Christmas Past knocking
From Nineteen eighty four
There’s a familiar digital
Voice at my door
The Google Grinch Googlebot
He’s Hal’s friend they say!
The Google Grinch Googlebot
Glitched Santa Away
Click link below to view screen captures of actual searches:
